My Story
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I was born in Llano, Texas, the second of two daughters. My early life was quiet, extended family-centric, a bit "old fashioned" for a 70s' child. I learned from two of the most practical, conservation-minded people I know, my mom and dad. And I had a sense of consciousness beyond our personality-focused material world as far back as I can remember. Now in my 50s, I am just starting to understand this part of me. It's relaxing, and has a better sense of humor than I thought it would!
In October, 2024 I was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer and it's incredible what doctors and medical scientists are learning! I sure appreciate all of their progress over all those years while I was distancing myself from it... This has become a very front facing part of my story now, and warrants a re-write. My dad was diagnosed with melanoma when I was 10, a year after my parents divorced and we had just moved to a new city. At 30 years old, I was blessed to be with him when he died. It was a long run with cancer! And I had become committed to being wiser than cancer, healthier than a cancer patient and avoidant of Western medicine. For several years until Dad's death, I was working toward a career in environmental land planning, to help design healthier, more connected cities. After he died, my direction changed. I took up Buddhist meditation practice, taught yoga full-time, then included massage therapy in my work and studied Hakomi. Spiritual quietness drew me in and what I wanted was to live this life honestly before I died. I volunteered several years in a women's prison to help us become free from the trauma of our culture. My longtime practices of dance and writing became expressions of liberation and connection. A few years ago, I added the work of End of Life/Death Doula to support us in the ultimate freedom of leaving our bodies. And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer and a real surprise came. The energy I had long been using for avoidance of what I didn't want was becoming free. Some dark nights in grief opened into unconditional compassion. Between tests, scans, oncology appointments, meeting eyes with fellow oncology patients in waiting rooms and two surgeries, gratitude was growing and it let me know that we are all included. What I had rejected for decades was now mine to face directly, and it was an intimate act of freedom. Free to be exactly where I am, no longer identified by rejection of cancer, or vulnerability. It's funny how we can wrap our identities around what we DON'T want! Life has its way of bringing us face to face with ourselves, so that we can see and really live. I'm fortunate to have had top notch care from the many realms and to be named "cancer free" at this point. My husband and I grew closer in ways we didn't know were missing, honesty in this reminder that we really don't control life. We're growing in our capacity to be scared together, and kind, and funny, too! As someone who loves the healing arts, I now get to heal from the either-or mindset I carried. In the past, I saw a hard line between medical science and this work I do, which is a marriage of the spiritual and biological. But come to find out, that mindset of division is its own struggle and a drain on energy and relationships. What I see in this story of division is a basic lack of gratitude in life, which is a real downer. And it's not just me. Our culture is down in this and we are, I suspect, about ready to rise out of it. We each belong in gratitude, and we can practice it. Life has given me some honest dealings with gratitude, compassion and being surprised. I do not know what's coming and I can see that this has always been the case, I just used to believe I was supposed to already know. That's funny, really. Major certifications and degrees End of Life Doula Program - ABODE San Antonio, 2023 Biodynamic Craniosacral Training - Body Intelligence, 2018 Hakomi, Mindfulness-Centered, Somatic Psychotherapy - Hakomi Southwest, 2012 Massage Therapy Training - Texas Healing Arts Institute, 2007 Thai Massage Training - ITM, Chiang Mai, Thailand, 2006 Yoga Teacher Training - Living Yoga Program, 2004 MPS Environmental & Community Land Planning - State Univ of NY Environmental Science & Forestry, Syracuse 2003 BS Geography, Resource & Environmental Studies - Southwest Texas State University, 1999 BS Nutrition - Southwest Texas State University, 1994 |