I was the angry environmentalist, the one riding my bike through the city, flipping off people in giant vehicles. Ford Excursions, Hummers, those vehicles in particular. I loved the earth so much that I hated the people on its behalf, myself included. I believed my belief should be strong enough to change everything, and I believed hard, constantly disappointed. My muscles were rope tight and I thought they were supposed to be. I thought my flexed face should be convincing.
A few times I talked directly to someone I thought needed changing and that person would change me instead. And a lot of other things happened.
Who am I? I'm still an environmentalist, to choose a label to name something I care about. I'm angry when I get angry but it's not my entire diet now. It's more like the shell around the yummy nut. If it comes up, it's just energy to use. Using it, not "controlling it", turns it into a friendly focus, humor, fresh thoughts that include myself and all the other people with the earth. Little drops at a time. We can't force it. Force is what got us into this mess.